I am always happy to provide an autograph to whoever would like it. That being said, I don’t do nearly as many book signings as I would like and the chances of running into me out on the street are probably fairly low for those of you outside of New Jersey. Likewise, I find asking someone to buy a paperback, mail it to me, then mail it back out ends up being slow, clunky, and costing everyone more than it should.
So I’ve decided to put my paperbacks on sale here, the bonus being that all books bought directly from this website will be sent out autographed. Sounds like a win-win to me.
Domestic Customers only for now, I’m afraid. All others will be refunded. Likewise, I don’t keep a large inventory on hand, so please limit your order to 2 of each book. Any other questions? Please see the Autograph FAQs at the bottom of the page.
BILL THE VAMPIRE
COMIC BOOK #1: $6.99
BILL THE VAMPIRE: $10.99
SCARY DEAD THINGS: $10.99
THE MOURNING WOODS: $11.99
HOLIER THAN THOU: $12.99
SUNSET STRIP: $8.99
G-D FREAKY MONSTERS: $12.99
HALF A PRAYER: $12.99
THE WICKED DEAD: $14.99
SHINING FURY: $7.99
THE LAST COVEN: $15.99
NIGHT STALKER: $5.99
BIGFOOT HUNTERS: $11.99
LYCAN MOON: $10.99
MIDNITE’S DAUGHTER: $11.99
Q: Is checkout secure?
A: Yes. When you click the Add To Cart button, you’ll open up a new window to Paypal’s website where you can complete the transaction.
Q: So what’s the deal? How much are you charging for your John Hancock?
A: I don’t charge anything for my autograph. Never have, hopefully never will. All prices above are based on the book’s suggested retail price at Amazon.com.
Q: What a second! I just checked and you’re charging more than Amazon. What gives?
A: Amazon tends to discount prices at their discretion. Unfortunately I don’t have time to check them 24/7 so it’s possible they might be discounting some of my titles and I’m just not aware of it.
Q: When you write a message, is it friendly or are you going to call me a slice of fucking dick cheese?
A: My dedications tend to be pretty friendly/tame by default. If you’re looking for something a bit more insulting, though, drop me a line and let me know. I aim to please.
Q: Do you charge shipping?
A: Not at this time. It’s included with the price.
Q: Do you ship outside the United States?
A: Not at this time. I may add an option for that later on, but I will most likely have to charge appropriate shipping fees.
Q: What about tax?
A: Yes. You will be charged NJ sales tax as I prefer them to not come looking for me.
Q: That sucks!
A: I’m well aware.
Q: Why limiting purchase? You trying to make these collector items or something?
A: No. The 2 per book limit is simply because at any given time I keep fairly minimal inventory on hand. As much as it might gratify my ego to stare at shelves upon shelves of my books, my family tends to frown on using up their living space for that.
Q: When will my book ship?
A: As soon as it can. If I have it on hand, I will ship it out within a few days of receipt of order. If I need to replenish inventory, it could be up to 2 weeks until it ships.
Q: What if I don’t fill in the “Make it out to” field?
A: Then you’ll just get my near incomprehensible signature.
Q: Can I return it if I hate (insert whatever reason here)?
A: As these are customized items, all sales are final. That being said, my goal is to delight you, not piss you off. If there’s an issue with shipping – a product doesn’t arrive, or arrives damaged – please use the contact form in the website navigation to reach out to me so we can arrange a replacement.
Q: Where’s the “Make it out to:” box for the Comic Book?
A: I sign the cover of the comic books. There really isn’t space for a dedication without making a mess of things.