Please fill out the form below or see the Autograph FAQs at the bottom of the page for details.
Q: How does this work? I don’t see a payment button.
A: When you submit the form above, I will calculate the total and send you an invoice (from Freewill Press). Upon payment of the invoice, I will put in a request for your books. Your order will then typically take between 2 and 3 weeks to reach me for signing so I can then ship them to you.
Q: How much are you charging for your John Hancock?
A: I don’t charge anything for my autograph. Never have, hopefully never will. All prices above are based on the book’s suggested retail price at Amazon.com.
Q: This is new. What changed?
A: I realized I had too many books (and not enough office space) to keep a running inventory. Hence, I’ve moved to an on-demand model.
Q: When you write a message, is it friendly or are you going to call me a slice of fucking dick cheese?
A: My dedications tend to be pretty friendly/tame by default. If you’re looking for something a bit more insulting, though, drop me a line and let me know. I aim to please.
Q: Do you charge shipping?
A: For Domestic Shipping please add $3 per book. International shipping is charged at a flat rate of $25 for every 3 books (minimum $25). So if you order 1-3 books, your shipping will be $25, 4-6 books – $50, and so on.
Please Note: this does not include VAT or any other charges you may incur upon receipt. This is simply my cost to ship.
Q: Do you ship outside the United States?
A: Yes. I am currently servicing the US, Canada, UK, Germany, Australia, and New Zealand.
Q: What about tax?
A: NJ sales tax will be applied where applicable.
Q: When will my book ship?
A: As soon as it can. If I have it on hand, I will ship it out within a few days of receipt of order. However, I’m moving to a low inventory on-demand model, so please anticipate roughly 2 to 3 weeks for your order to be received for signing and shipment.
Q: What if I don’t fill in the “Make it out to” field?
A: Then you’ll just get my near incomprehensible signature.
Q: Can I return it if I hate (insert whatever reason here)?
A: As these are customized items, all sales are final. That being said, my goal is to delight you, not piss you off. If there’s an issue with shipping – a product doesn’t arrive, or arrives damaged – please use the contact form in the website navigation to reach out to me so we can arrange a replacement.
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