Get Ready to DIE Laughing!

My name’s Bill Ryder and I have no life, but it’s not because I like video games and D&D. I literally have no heartbeat thanks to the night I met Sally. She was too good to be true, a woman worth dying for. So, I did.

Problem is, I didn’t stay dead.

Now I’m a vampire, surrounded by undead freaks who are stronger, faster, and better looking than me. It’s enough to give a guy a complex. Worse, their leader, a douche-canoe called Night Razor, hates my guts. It might be because he can’t control me, or maybe it’s because he’s a dick. Whatever the case, he’s given me just ninety days to prove I’m not an embarrassment to his coven.

If I fail, my ass is toast. Too bad my friends are more interested in setting me on fire, while Sally thinks I’m nothing more than her personal footstool. Talk about a freaking shit show. I might be a bloodsucking predator of the night, but I’m still at the bottom of the food chain.

Here’s what readers are saying about BILL THE VAMPIRE (the Tome of Bill book 1):
“Crass, crude, and clever as all hell.”
“I found myself laughing until my sides hurt.”
“I made the mistake of listening to this series at work. Now, my coworkers think I’m a cackling weirdo.”
“The perfect mix of nerd and urban fantasy.”
“Think Buffy meets The Big Bang Theory.”
“The humor stabbed me in the funny bone like a harpoon.”
“This. Is. Hilarious!”
“I’ve read all the books and now it’s one of my favorite series.
“Fun and moving, like a good cup of coffee.”
“Cool story of a regular guy thrust into the world of the undead. Loved it.”
“This book made me laugh in the best of ways.”

Available for eBook, Print, & Audio.
Content Warning: violence, gore, crude humor, and a buttload of swearing